Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Jump Around

Late night writing.

That's what blogs are for. 

In the mid-2000s (I started to write, "a decade ago" but couldn't bring myself to do that because it made me feel old), when I was seriously using this blog as a platform for expressing my thoughts into the void, I wrote primarily at night, after a day of doing "stuff". Since I've been working full-time, I've been going to bed earlier, not spending an hour or so trying to craft something worthwhile.

Now I'm at a moment. I'm unhappy with my work situation. I'm trying to decide what my life should amount to professionally and personally. I don't want to just keep plugging along. I want to have a drive to what I'm doing. 

I thought I had made these decisions years ago. And maybe I had but now I find myself here with my life as it is. I can't rely on the decisions of 20-something me to carry me through the next fifty years.

So I need to re-evaluate.

What's important to me now? How do I go about prioritizing that so I don't lose sight of it? How do create a situation where I can succeed? What preparation is required?

I don't have answers to these questions but I'm lucky because I'm still in a position to easily think about these things. I was supposed to take a little break right now to do some of this stuff. Instead I filled my time with more work and generally being elsewhere, avoiding this work. I've got two days at the end of this week get started on this.

Sometimes I stop and try to place my self-involvement on scale from 1 to 10. Am I being too introverted?

Also, I know I'm lucky. Some would say privileged, which is true, but I like saying lucky. I did start with privilege, but had some lucky breaks over my life time. Lots of stuff happened to me. I made decisions to be places with certain people, but I don't really feel like I was the one doing it, especially during my teenage years and early twenties. The position

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