Miss May

Seems like I didn't have anything to say for the most of May. What happened? Usually I write on the weekends - Saturday nights or Sunday morning. Instead I got out into the world, visited with family, discovered the city, begin preparing for my summer trip, study for a math test (not really, but I did watch some videos and do random questions), work very randomly in the evenings, and playing with multimedia gadgets. Weeknights are usually spent either substituting, preparing for the next day, or simply relaxing at the end of the day.

Been watching two TV series on Netflix - Top of the Lake and the new season of Arrested Development. This is on top of my random cartoons (really enjoying Justice League Unlimited).

Okay on to the introspective moments. Just quick preamble - I hope my language doesn't come off as judgmental but it's entirely possible it will. I'm just writing down some thoughts that have been on my mind for a while. So, basically I'm saying I might sound like a dick. I'm trying hard to change.

Contemplation. Do people actually engage in this activity? I'm not talking about worrying or gossiping. I'm talking about taking an idea (which can be a memory) and actively think about it in a serious way. This doesn't require huge intellect or emotional maturity. It does require dissecting a thought and not simple accepting things at face value.

Don't know where I'm going with this. There are just parts of society that I leave me puzzled. I know people have circumstances and histories that affect their behavior but still... Guess I'm apart of the cross section of society that prefers civility to arguments. I know civility won't solve many problems because oppression, privilege, and equality require some sort of confrontation and change. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the discourse in mundane activities. I think what I'm trying to say is don't be rude, especially on the Internet. There's really no need for it.

My big revelation is this - if people actually thought, contemplated, their actions we'd all be better off.

This hasn't been as successful I wished. I might delete part of this.

Remix

RIP! A Remix Manifesto is a fantastic documentary about the current state of copyright, which is incredibly relevant in Canada right now since the government is about to pass legislation similar to the awful stuff from USA. Many people, including Cory Doctorow and Michael Geist have written extensively about the issue, and a couple of advocacy groups have also tried to get the message out (none of whom I can recall at the moment). With a majority government, it looks like the bill will pass without many changes. Now, there are good parts to the bill but the digital locks provision seems to cancel it all out. Seems we need to have change, and it doesn't seem like it would be too difficult. People adapt, change and learn to make a living off their works. Why can't large corporation do the same? Technology makes our lives easier.

Also, why would you SUE your customers? Doesn't make a lot of sense. Then again, I've got a Creative Commons license on this blog so I guess my thoughts are pretty obvious. FYI, it's really easy to get a something that covers the simplest copyrights. I don't mind people quoting me or even "stealing" what I've created since I take images from the web all the time with crediting who created it. I hope, and I guess this is a horrible assumption, when readers see a professional image that I didn't take it. Sadly, since so many people do what I do, it's hard to find who to credit. When I do find the creator, I credit them (at least I will from now on).

Okay, I'm done.

turn on the news

I judge blogs by the articles, blogs, and sites they link to. I may be enjoying the content but if you link to something inappropriate, it makes me wonder. Also makes me less likely to bookmark or return. Could this create an echo chamber effect? Probably but at least made a point of basing my decision on the information presented.

To this point, I know that often my reference links are to Wikipedia articles. Many people don't like the monopoly that Wikipedia has on information. These same people are probably upset with Google and therefore should be upset with this blog being hosted by Google via their Blogger service. Personally, I agree with the mission statement / ideal behind Wikipedia and have no problem supporting it. My links to those Wikipedia articles are just a reference. If someone wants to learn more... well, that's what search engines, like Google, are for.

Also, I've been listening to a lot of Husker Du. Zen Arcade is as good as they say.

Time after time

I've been thinking a lot lately about change, mostly in my professional life. That was the reasoning behind taking my currently cancelled computer courses. Something to make things a little better. Can't continue doing the same thing over and over again expecting the results to change. Is time off the solution? Should I consider a project - something to help me "find my bliss"?

These are all grand ideas. More likely I'll just sit around watching bad tv, playing video games, making semi-awesome meals, and reading the news feed on my twitter account (@ryansenseless).

Motivation worries me. Then again, I haven't been unemployed. I've been underemployed several times (like right now) but never unemployed for more than a couple of weeks between jobs discounting one summer after university.

May Day Election

Tonight is election night here in Canada. The Conservative Party has just won its first majority in over twenty years. The New Democratic Party (NDP) has made huge gains in Quebec at the expense of Bloc Quebecois and everywhere else at the expense of the Liberal Party. In British Columbia, the Green Party has finally won a seat so they can't be excluded from debates. It was a pretty historic night.

And I feel sad.

Canada has changed. Its population has changed and we're slowly becoming a distance copy of our previous national identities. We're no longer the polite, centrists who prize a common sense approach to our collective good. Regionalism, French / English relations, or wilderness pioneer spirit don't define us anymore either. We're now caught between "extremes" without a direction for the people in the middle. Yes, nothing is ever perfect. Yes, current political systems exclude large portions of the people its meant to serve, but I don't think it'll get better.

Maybe this is just a sleepless rant that I'll regret in the morning. Maybe I'm just upset at the Conservative majority. Maybe I'm just dreading going to work tomorrow with people who may just be happy with the election results. Yeah, maybe it's all personal and not about the direction the country's heading it. I'm hoping that's the case because otherwise it's going to be a long five years.

Soul-crushing? Not yet...

I'm slowly learning more about the technical aspects of computer hardware, website hosting, and getting the most out of old computers. It's fantastic. I'm by no means good at it but I'm applying myself and doing a lot of research. I'm making mistakes but nothing too serious. Trail and error. It's good that my workplace allows me some flexibility with this.

However, the rest of the time I feel like I'm being used as manual labour. Today I spent most of my day hauling boxes, shelving and pricing books. This has been the pattern for the month or so. I'm not consciously being overlooked for the other tasks, but I'm also not doing those tasks either. I get told I'm a good worker and such but the responsibility isn't there. I used to love going to work, doing a variety of different things, but now all I do is very basic work. It's not fun and I'm a little tired of it. Why am I focusing on this now? Last week we wrote a proposal to be a vendor for one the large school boards in the area. According to education (not experience), I'm the most qualified person. Why is it that I'm the only one mopping the floor on a regular basis and not creating lists based upon literacy curriculum that meet the modified needs of a diverse classroom?

Now, that's how I feel. The reality of the situation is completely different but that's my perspective. Clearly I'm not the only mopping the floors nor am I the only one moving boxes. I'm unsatisfied with my job and that clouds my perspective. The people I work with are good people. Maybe I need to stop worrying about my ego and just work (yet if I don't look out for myself, who will?)

Yes, It's really 4:55

...And I'm awake. There's a reason. I have to pick up people from work at 6:00AM. I had planned on getting up at 5:30 but I left the directions at the store so now I've got to go there first. Did I really need to be up at 4:30? Probably not but unfortunately I woke myself up at 4:15 and couldn't get back to sleep. Didn't want to be late so my mind wouldn't let my body get more rest. At least my day will be over at 2:00PM.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

If you hadn't heard, Disney bought Marvel Entertainment. The article I linked to explains why this is a good move for Disney. I just hope they don't try to impose creative decisions on the comic book devision, the least profitable division BUT where all the ideas come from. It's going to happen. I'm just waiting.

Travel

I've been thinking about the politics of travel.

Aside from the environmental issues, there's the political implications of going on vacation. I don't know how I feel. I want to see the world but... how do you support an industry that doesn't fairly compensate the locals? How do I travel around in luxury when most of the people in the places I'd be visiting can't afford clean drinking water? I realize that by living and working in the modern world, enjoying the fruits of multi-national corporations' domination of the global economy I silently accept the unjust world order that keeps so many living in poverty and causes terrible violence.

[The places that have caused me to think are parts of Africa, like Algeria, Botswana, and Ghana]

My new glasses caused me similar concerns. They were 1/10 the cost of what I could buy retail and came directly from the People's Republic of China. I didn't support any local business and did entire transaction via my credit card and the web. Now, I don't make a lot of money and hundreds of dollars for new glasses wasn't within my means. The price I paid was very much within my means.

When I can afford to live by my politics I will. For now, I've got to exercise my political will in other, smaller ways. I'm not an idealist; I'm just trying to be practical. My best solution at the moment? To give a small donation to a non-profit organization. It's small, but it's a start. My financial situation makes my dreams of travelling just a dream.

history in the making

I work with lots of young people who are in the midst of their undergraduate degrees. Once upon a time (not that long ago), I was in their place. They have conversations that you don't really have afterwards; ones about pure theoretic ideas about the world and ideas. Conversations about freedom of speech were this week's favour. It's nice but at the same time I'm upset that I don't have that kind of verve for random academic debates anymore. I still enjoy them but I don't pick fights or give my opinion to everyone I meet. I tend to keep my opinions to myself more and more. Yeah, I rant from time to time about "unimportant" topics like music but that's about it these days. Politics, religion, and economics don't really interest me even when things like are happening*.

I guess this is growing up.

*It does, however, make me mad that people are saying this is undemocratic. It is. Canada is a parliamentary democracy. This is how it works... just not in Canada before. It's awesome.

Call me Mister Wrong

The most dangerous thing in the world is the unwavering belief that you're right. This is different from thinking you're right because there is a world of difference between thinking and believing. Thinking involves logic and reason while belief belongs solely within the realm of faith, and faith is a most dangerous thing when left unchecked. This has been on my mind for a while but what finally made me realize that "importance of being right" was the most dangerous of belief was, of all things, an interview on MTV with a semi-political punk band.They got all enraged about religion and were making grandiose claims and rabble-rousing. They sounded, whether ironic or not, like the exact thing they were yelling against. And it was slightly scary.

I have no thoughts or theories on how to combat this. All I know is that it's something that strikes fear in my heart. Politics and Religion are steeped in this shit. Don't know what to do except to be mindful of my thoughts and words, taking care to never cross the line from discussing ideas to arguing beliefs.

This idea isn't well thought out here; this is just a spring board for me to continue this sometime later.

They tried to make me go to rehab

Over the last couple of days, I have spent an inordinate amount of time talking about Canada and being Canadian. This is partly due to my presence in America but I'd like to go on record saying that it's mostly my doing 'cause I like to talk about this shit. Seriously, even I find it a bit annoying after a while.

The differences between and Canada and the United State can't easily be summed up, even if beer commercials, politicians and Michael Moore try to do exactly that. It's a lot of little things that if you weren't really paying attention you'd hardly notice. Mostly it's small group of Canadians trying very hard to avoid being engulfed by American cultural machine. When I lived in Windsor, which is just across the river from Detroit, many of the people who grew up in Windsor said they felt more American than Canadian because all their news and sports teams resided on the other side of the border. It's difficult to assess what is Canadian and what isn't. Knowledge of history and politics makes someone a citizen of their country but not fully socialized member of the cultural group.

So what's the differences I've noticed? Well, aside from a fundamental knowledge of how the different bureaucratic institutions work, there's really nothing. I don't think anyone wants to know in detail how Canadians elect their government anymore than how Americans do it [ASIDE: although, from watching and reading a lot about the presidential primaries, I have to say it seems that the Canadian system is a little easier to follow].

So, I apologize to all the people who have had to listen to me go on about Canada over the last couple of days. If you want to know the honest truth, as an out of work teacher this is the only time I get to truly inform people about something new to them. If I had a job I'd probably want to be talking about about Phoenix's acquisition of Shaq last week or something else... like beer... or cola... or blogs. Who knows?

Realizing you're not creative

So I had yet another idea for my always in the air graduate studies. My theory was that I wanted to do a Masters of Education on the link between comic books and literacy programs for pre-adolescent boys. A quick Google search reveals that there are several journal articles on the subject and more importantly there's a "well-funded" program in the States called The Comic Book Project that is a program that allows students to create their own comics as a means of fostering literacy. Now I'm going to read all the related books I can find on the subject and see if I can add something to the debate.

And this isn't a countdown post because it has to do with comics, therefore unrelated to my trip to California.

Countdown to Adventure - 10

I don't understand an actor's role in the creative process of a movie or television series.

Let me clarify this statement.

Whenever I hear an actor talking about adding to the product, I feel it is slightly pretentious. I know that there is a craft to acting, but in television interviews it just comes off as... well, I think it's impossible to describe something like that, and when practitioners of a craft try to give voice to it they don't do it justice. They make it sound absolutely ridiculous. Hollywood actors aren't exactly intellectuals (some maybe) and modern faux-news entertainment programs don't exactly allow for convincing dialogue. Having to hock an often flimsy product to an assumed brain-dead audience isn't the ideal situation. But still...

I would love to read a book on the art of acting written by someone with a gift for the pen. I know these books exist, I've just never read or heard of them. That's where my bias lies -with the writers. I know everyone involved in the process give something to the project, but the idea is paramount in my mind. The person who pen to paper (or types on the screen) the words and ideas that create all the elements of the film... I don't know. It takes talent to translate the word into image, but the genesis of the idea.

This isn't a rant about celebrity. I think that most artists, specifically because they are artists and they choose to express themselves in particular media, are unable to full communicate the details of their work. The role of the critic and theorist isn't to dictate art but to analysis and help clarify art. They say what the artist is, in a way, unable to say because he/she hasn't been trained in that form of expression. Critics doesn't have the answers, they only have a way of discuss art that augments the general discourse.

And, plus, this is just funny.

Cheat Codes

"Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, A, B, A, B, Select, Start"

The Moldy Peaches were on The View today 'cause they're on the Juno soundtrack. In fact, they're all over the Juno soundtrack. The above lyric is from one of their songs that's featured on that soundtrack. I think it's funny and also shows how dated the music used in the film is. Okay, not dated in the sense it's from like the 70s or something but in that it speaks to people of a certain age group. You did that particular sequence during the title credits of the Nintendo game Contra you would get 99 lives, which would make the game A LOT easier. Now, we're on like the what 5th or 6th generation gaming system, right? How is a 16 year old supposed to know that piece of pop culture now? Then again, Juno did show a very acute knowledge of 70s punk rock. It's a meaning less series of words. Anyway, that's just one more reason Oprah is wrong when saying Juno is "fresh" (UFC is going to kill me for saying that).


EDIT: so I can't spell "moldy"...

You've been a bad blogger

Bloggers are a strange bred... and I should know because I'm one. In all honesty, I was looking over some "blogger of the day" archives from only a year ago and you know what I found? At least half of the blogs featured either don't exist anymore and haven't been updated in months. I guess it's odd to believe that people would continue writing a blog for years on end without anyone, or the wrong people, reading it. Being able to publish your thoughts and feeling on the Internet with relative ease is new and many people probably posted things they shouldn't have. You have to be conscious of what your posting. Your blog is a reflection upon yourself and while you can write under a pseudonym but it only goes so far. My pseudonym, for example, could easily reveal my identity if anyone put some serious time into it. That being said, I am proud of this blog. The reason I don't use my full name is that I don't want acquaintances, employers, or other random people finding it. I don't hide it but I also don't put in it on facebook or myspace.

I really don't know what my point is. I guess I'm basically saying why don't people keep their blogs going?

I'm a punk rock prom queen

I love the same of sub-categorization that occurs in punk rock music. I was in HMV today and I was reading all the little descriptions they on the dividers. Some of the descriptions look like a random assortment of adjectives like indie, emo, metalcore, OI!!! (always with three exclamations), legends and/or pioneers. This wasn't the strangest part either. What I thought was odd all the references that went nowhere. If wanted to know what the Descendants sounded like you told to see the ALL divider. All the ALL divider said was "ex-Descendants." The Clash said, "See Joe Strummer." WHAT?!?!? They couldn't think of anything to say about THE CLASH? Operation Ivy said, "See Rancid." The Rancid divider? "Transplants, Ex-Op Ivy." ARGH!!!!

So, I know that the Hives are "Swedish Indie-Punk" or that TurboNegro is "Scandinavian punk rock n' roll" but nothing about important bands. Do they assume that everyone in the punk section just knows about these bands? I don't know 'cause on the Fugazi divider it said, "Hardcore Pioneers." It makes no sense to me. None at all.

Oh well... I guess I'm just not that punk rock 'cause I just didn't care all that much and that's so not punk.

Cross Town Traffic - 7 years of it

Above picture from spacing.ca

I hate traffic. It hasn't bugged me until recently. This is probably due to the fact I never had to drive regularly during rush hour. In the last two months, I have done just that and I don't understand how people do it. Sitting in your car going nowhere getting frustrated has the minutes pass by; Just doesn't sound like a fun time to me. UFC takes the train in from Hamilton (a city just west of Toronto also known as The Hammer) and spends that time reading or sleeping. When I go to work down at the university, I take the subway and read. It's so much nicer. Don't have to think about anything except missing my stop.

I know I sound like bad ad for public transportation but with everyone talking about going green, it only makes sense to these little things. Another plus is that you get to act all high and mighty if you so choose. I just do it to avoid the headache of traffic and I don't understand why more people don't.

Now all I need is an MP3 player to listen to during the ride.

----------------------

Now, I know this doesn't sound like a post that truly celebrates the last seven years but I couldn't think of anything that sums up my feelings about blogging for all these years. Post a song, mentioning the anniversary... that's about all I've got in me in terms of celebration. So I'll leave it at that and I'll thank all the random people looking for Rick Mercer's blog for reading.

On thin ice

There's ice everywhere. It snowed a lot over the weekend. People are stupid when it snows. So many things to get done now. It's that time of year. I hate malls.

On blogging

Has the rest of web 2.0 taken away from blogging or is it simply that all the bloggers whose blogs I regularly read have lives and therefore have less time to blog? I'm not trying to guilt anyone here. I'm just pointing out that the blogs I started out reading a couple of years ago don't exist anymore because the authors have other hobbies to keep themselves occupied. User generated content depends on exact that - the user generating content. It stands to reason if the users get bored, or move on to something else, the content goes away. I guess this isn't any different than if a company goes bankrupt and halts production. I'm just upset that in the last two months I've deleted at least a half dozen blogs from my bookmarks because they haven't been updated in several months (or the authors themselves deleted it). That's my rant for now. Please don't take it personally. I'm just bored and can't sleep.