Simple and Plain

Last night we went out for dinner to a bar that offered 35 different burgers. Some of these burgers were pretty exotic and exciting. While I enjoy trying new foods, unfortunately this doesn't translate to hamburgers. I like my burgers plain and simple. I don't know what it is. So, what's my perfect burger? Cheese, mustard, hot peppers, lecture, and when the mood strikes, some tomato. I'll tolerate almost anything but if you put relish or mayonnaise on anything you serve me I'll destroy you.

I HATE RELISH AND MAYONNAISE.

TARTER SAUCE IS THE DEVIL INCARNATED.

Thank you and goodnight.