So I'm back from the wedding. Where do I begin? Hmm... I honestly don't know. It was a good time. I have to start off my stating that because I went in under the assumption that it won't be fun because it was in the middle of nowhere (cottage country actually). I'm from the city. I don't leave the city unless under totally necessary. For example, you can't really go camping in the city. There just aren't enough trees.
Go, let's start that the beginning. I picked up my friend Carly from the subway Friday night and we spent the night drinking wine and watching the first season of Degrassi: The Next Generation. It did, however, takes us almost fourty-five minutes, instead of the usual fifteen, to get home from the subway because all the roads were flooded. It rained like nobody's business. I don't remember it raining like that in years. There was some fear that the storm would continue into Saturday and we would have trouble getting to the wedding. Luckly, that wasn't the case.
So, Saturday morning we wake early after unpleasant night's rest. Tired, we got ourselves together and were on the road by noon. We wanted to leave at 11:30, but I kept forgetting stuff. I thought we had to leave that early because it was three hour drive, but once we actually looked at the directions (thanks MapQuest) the estimated travel time was 2 hours and 12 minutes. Therefore we had lots of time. Time enough to stop at two different Tim Hortons to get our necessary coffee/tea(which I spilt on myself)/soda/chillatte (sp?) fix. In the second Tim Hortons, we spotted other people who seemed to be going to the wedding (our suspicions were confirmed when we saw them in the church later).
After wasting some time, we took our seats in the church. We were given programs and bubbles when we entered the church, but I was cheated because my bubbles didn't work. This upset me. Everyone else's bubbles worked except mine. Anyway, I won't bore you with the details of the service because it was your standard wedding. Nothing all that interesting happened except that I was able to figure out which hymn the organist was playing without it being printed anywhere. Thanks Mom for all those Sundays morning services. Aside from having a lifelong distaste for the religion I can pick out the popular hymns at weddings.
After the service we had an hour to kill, so we went some other people we knew to one of the local bars. Once we got to said bar, we found the doors were locked. The sign said the bar opened at 4, so we had to wait the TWO minutes for them to open the door. They did not, however, open the door at four because the waitress came out and told us there was something wrong with the gas and she had to wait for the cook to call her back to see if it was safe to open. Lacking any other options (and the fact that we were meeting people) we waited. Once inside the bar, we ordered the drinks only after all the ladies were carded while myself and another gentleman were told it wasn't necessary. I felt a little old because the ladies were only a year younger than me. I guess my old man tendencies are starting to show.
After entering a contest and finishing our drinks, it was off the reception, which was held in the local community centre... or at least were the local Boy Scouts and Girl Guides groups met. We sat at a table were we knew everyone (in fact, it included everyone who had just come of the bar) and once inside we began our campaign of "secret" drinking. See, instead of buying drink tickets we smuggled, or bootlegged, our own rum into the reception to avoid paying anymore. After a really strong first drink, we continued the entire night, but less secret with every pour especially once we saw another guest walking around with a large bottle of Beefeater that simply put our small bottle of rum to shame. Speeches were said, toasts were made and food was eaten.
It was once the dancing started that the party really started. Carly and I one afternoon decided that we were going to bet on what the first song was going to be. We had a list of about six or seven songs so we waited with bated breath to see what the selection was going to be. In the end, we were wrong. But this did start an interesting game at our table. Basically, I "threw down the gauntlet", which meant that if a specific song (my first choice was "hot in herre" by nelly) was played the entire table had to get up and dance. I then made everyone else pick a song. Now, I wasn't very good at picking songs, but we had some talented people at our table so we were dancing fairly often.
As the night wore on, the usual wedding traditions continued. Specifically, the tossing of the garter. I'll say this right out - I caught the fucking thing. Everyone else in the crowd was at least a head taller than me. I won't have even gone up if I hadn't been pressured by a large group (what can I say? I cave when it comes to peer pressure). I should give a little play-by-play. The groom took the garter of his lovely bride, turned his back and threw the damn thing. It hit the shoulder of the guy in front of me and landed in front of me. I went to move out of the way, when some guy behind me pushed me, and then another guy tackled me. At this point, I wasn't going to give it up, so once I had it in my hand I didn't let go. Now, I'm not sure when I actually got it, but I had in the end and that's all that matters. I thought the entire situation was comical, and slightly ironic given by recent history. Maybe this is a sign from those damn pagan gods...
After more dancing, more drinking on the part of others, and quick check of the watch made us realize that basically everyone was smashed by 10pm. Now, I'm not one to shy away from a drink, but after that first ill-tempted rum and coke, I didn't really feel like drinking too heavily. So by 11pm I had sobered up pretty good, and was starting to get tired. Now, I have to tell of what Carly and my plan was for after the wedding. Basically, we were going to wander around the town until we sobered up - so we were going to sleep in the car because it was going to cost over a 100 dollars for a room and we didn't have that kind of cash as both of us are unemployed. It was at this point, that we decided to not to go through with our plan just drive back that night. Okay, I drove and Carly just sat there listening to me talking to keep myself awake. It was probably the worst idea I've ever had. The drive was SO painful. It hurt getting home, but it made sleeping afterwards so good.
I think that's the total story... I'll have to get Carly to back this story up, but this is all I've got.
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