Common Sense...

Disclaimer: This post is slightly different. I may become embarrassed by it in a couple of hours and delete it (or alter it greatly). I know this is contrary to my usual philosophy regarding the blog but I'm unsure about my state of being.

As I mentioned previously, I bought a copy of Wilson's An Introduction to a New Existentialism over the weekend. Along with Wilson's Outsider, this book shaped my teenage ideas about philosophy and life. As I revisit this book again over a decade later, I'm not as impressed with Wilson's arguments. I'm a little bit older and spent the intervening years reading and becoming acquainted with different subjects and viewpoints, all while trying to find my own way. Wilson doesn't seems to be very rigorous. There are gaps where, if you don't agree with him, you could drive a semi-truck through the holes in his argument. Also, when he references other texts he doesn't cite them properly. This annoys me a little.

And yet I'm still drawn to the ideas. The premise of the book is simple: Existentialism as written by Sartre and Heidegger is too pessimistic to be practical. The central ideas are sounded but the outlook is too negative. Wilson believes he can help corrects this by focusing on what Maslow called "peak experiences." Man, as a rule, lives only within a narrow margin of what he could be. He doesn't live authentically. As corny as it sounds, life is what you make it. Consciousness isn't a passive entity that simply reacts to the world. In a way, it creates the world it reacts to. Life can pass you by while you're not looking. There's so much that distract us, and unless you embrace those distraction as your life, you might feel wanting after a while.

When I was a teenager, searching for my own identity, trying impose my limited will upon my world, these themes and ideas seemed fantastic. They pushed me to dream, examine the things that exerted an influence on me, and question my own beliefs. I wasn't very good at this but I think I'm getting better.

Reading Wilson’s book put into focus how, not where, I find myself at the moment. A couple of years ago, I made a decision to follow a certain career path. Due to several reasons, varying from the current job market to my own haphazard work ethic, I don’t find myself doing what I had set out to do originally. I mean, I’m not doing the things the way other people would have me. I find myself explaining my happiness and this makes question whether or not I’m actually happy or simply spinning the situation to maintain my sanity. I recognize there’s some spinning happening but I believe I’m good. I’m still trying to find my Way.